Grief & loss

Spare a thought this Mother’s Day for those who have lost a baby

Mother’s Day is this Sunday. Many of us will be spending the day with family. Gifts and cards will be exchanged. Jokes and laughter will be shared. Memories will be called upon.

For many of us, Mother’s Day is a happy day. It’s one of celebration.

For many of us, Mother’s Day is a sad day. It’s one of remembrance.

For many of us, it is both. For some of us in this category, it’s a day for celebrating for our mothers, but also a day to grieve a child we’ve lost.

There’s so much hype around Mother’s Day, mostly thanks to consumerism. The hype comes at a cost for those who are grieving though. For them, it can be a day to dread. It might be a day to avoid. It’s a day to be anxious about. 

This isn’t to say that the hype doesn’t have a place. It does. Mothers deserve to be celebrated. They deserve to have love showered upon them. They need to be told that they’re cherished, appreciated and wanted. They deserve acknowledgement for the work they do, that’s unpaid and often unnoticed. In fact, mothers deserve this kind of hype on more than one day a year.

It is to say though that it’s worth sparing a thought for those who have lost the very thing we celebrate on Mother’s Day: the relationship between mother and child.

Perhaps it would mean the world to them if you sent a text message to let them know they’re loved; that you’re thinking of them. You don’t need to say you’re sorry. You don’t need to say you understand. You just need to say you’re there.

Mothers who have lost a child – know that you’re in my thoughts, especially this weekend. Mother’s Day will not be an easy day for you. However, it’s one you’re a part of because you will be a mother for the rest of your life. That’s the case whether you carried your baby for just a few short weeks or for forty long ones.

I wrote this poem in the hope that it brings you some comfort. I hope it reminds you that it’s okay not to be okay on Mother’s Day, for there is almost no greater pain than the loss of a child.

My darling child, I grieve you so,
The beautiful life I’ll never know.

My darling child, I miss you so,
The way I felt, that motherly glow.

My darling child, I love you so,
I wanted to raise you, to watch you grow.

My darling child, I’ll hold you tight,
In my heart, day and night.

My darling child, I’ll think of you,
You brought me joy, pure and true.

My darling child, today I will weep,
For the beautiful life we could not keep, 

My darling child, you now lay in rest,
Wrapped in my love, for I loved you best.

Beth x

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